Always Remember Who You Are...

  
“You formed my inmost being;

you knit me in my mother's womb.

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me;

wonderful are your works!

My very self you knew;

my bones were not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,

fashioned as in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes foresaw my actions;

in your book all are written down;

my days were shaped,

before one came to be.”

(Psalm 139:13-16, NAB)

Over the last couple of days, I was simply reflecting on a little book by a Dutch-born Catholic priest, Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen...an extremely very gifted writer – “Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.”

This is just a simple sharing of my quiet reflection...

Amidst all the rushing, working and doing, we tend to not have much time for our dear selves.  Just remember who you are...a very special person...deeply loved by God and all the people who are here on this journey with you...and the ones you meet along the way.

Not to be able to feel loved by those who gave us life will result in us dwelling in low self esteem that can easily lead to anger, impatience, hopelessness, depression and despair.

When the journey is rough and life is burdensome, always remember that you are loved with an everlasting love.  We belong to a loving God who will never leave us alone...but will remind us constantly that we are guided by His loving hands on every step of our journey through life.

At times when we are thrown about, up and down by the tiny waves on the surface of our existence, we become easy victims of our manipulative and seductive world.  For those who are trapped in the values and priorities of the world, we hear so much blaming and complaining in a spirit of passive resignation...feeling like victims of the world we cannot change...an inner restlessness that continually stirs up feelings and emotions of us being not-good-enough, evil, bad, worthless, rotten, doomed to illness and death, useless...the list goes on and on.

These negative voices are sometimes so loud and persistent that it is often easy to believe them...naturally, beneath all our human arrogance and ego!

St Augustine reminds us in our journey that, “my soul is restless until it rests in you, O God.”  When God no longer have (or never had) any influence over us and our lives...on our journey...on the waves of our lives...then all our vitality will eventually evaporate...we will become listless, frustrated, dull and bored even when we are busy with all our “doings”.

Our own human arrogance and ego often destroys us.  It prevents us from seeing, hearing, feeling and sensing...becoming “conscious” of how blessed we actually are.  Amidst all the “noise”, compulsiveness and “busi-ness” (read ‘busy’), we cannot hear the whisper...that soft gentle inner Voice that blesses our lives so that we can journey through life with a stable sense of well-being and true belonging.

This Voice comes to us in countless of ways...the very voice that is sounded by your parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, priest, spouse, children, blogs, books and the many strangers who cross your path...including the Sacred Scriptures...the Word of God.

This Voice can simply be heard in the quiet...by the ear of faith...the ear of the inner heart...an inner active attentiveness and consciousness of the Beloved God...the Spirit within us.

The world has changed, many people say...but the problem of modern living in this day and age is that we are simply too busy...perhaps looking for affirmation of “who we are” in the wrong places?

There is simply so much that still has to be done, so many tasks to finish, assignments to complete, deadlines to meet and jobs to work on that being simply present and quiet seem (or is perceived to be) useless and even a total waste of our time.

How then can be hear and listen to God if we do not “waste our time”?

First and foremost, we ourselves must acknowledge that we are indeed children of God...we are God’s chosen ones...we are loved and belong exclusively to God...we existed in God’s loving heart long before we were conceived and came to birth...long before our parents held us...our friends know us...we have been individually chosen from the very beginning of time! Each and every one of us have been chosen by God.

“...a great spiritual mystery: To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. It is very hard to conceive of this in a competitive world such as ours.” – Henri J M Nouwen

In knowing that we are indeed chosen and loved by God, Henri Nouwen further enlightens us that, “what seemed intolerable becomes a challenge. What seemed a reason for depression becomes a source of purification. What seemed punishment becomes a gentle pruning. What seemed rejection becomes a way to a deeper communion” which each of us yearns so much, deep within our being.

By the grace of God, only with this gift of awareness and consciousness...we stop clinging to life for our own selfish reasons and desires...we stop reacting aimlessly to the world around us.

We become attentive to the loving God who has chosen us and “planted” us on this journey...to make this world a little better.  Throughout this short journey back home, every time we reach out...every time we respond to the Voice...we know that our every little action of love and peace will ripple out into wider circles – just like a tiny pebble thrown into a calm still pond.

Only then, will our brief and simple journey through this world touch the lives of others with love...give life to people...our “death” will then have given others hope and new life...our “death” will ultimately set us free to arrive home to meet God.

“...O LORD, you have probed me,

you know me: you know when I sit and stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest you mark;

with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, you know it all.

Behind and before you encircle me

and rest your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is beyond me,

far too lofty for me to reach.

Where can I hide from your spirit?

From your presence, where can I flee?”

(Psalm 139:1-7, NAB)

Remember...We are Easter People...

The 40 days journey through Lent 2011 has passed…the Holy Week, too…all the events of the solemn Triduum behind us…Easter Sunday celebrations over and simply gone…



What now?  We go back to business as usual...back to the grind…back to our own lives…financial worries, unemployment, sickness, terminal diseases, exams, 'Hollywood' marriages, indifferent attitude, laziness, injustice, work stress, suffering, discrimination, character assasination, corruption, etc?  Sucked back into the whirlwind tornado of chaos and noise of the world.


How easy we humans forget…  Are we merely an ‘event’ type of people?  How do we sustain our lives…our journey with the flame and light of Easter?


This seems to be exactly some of the thoughts that are running through my human mind these past few days.


I remember almost a year back when I chose, after much praying and discernment, to take a sabbatical from work (the ridiculous stress!)…and found much needed quality quiet time to reflect on my spiritual interior, read many spiritual literature, spent meaningful time with my family…my elderly mother…but most of all, the time to chart my thoughts here…to listen to myself…to listen to God…to allow Him to disturb me in whichever way He chooses…to find more clarity with my life.

It has not been an easy journey of late…surrendering everything to God…trusting Him…waiting for Him to lead…  Easier said than done; the human condition.  The fact remains that…faith alone does not feed the family…fuel your vehicle…pay for your groceries…  Yet, amidst these so-called realities of life, I still feel a deep sense of calmness and trusting in the Lord…I continue to patiently pray and wait…while searching for a suitable income source...or whichever direction He choose to lead me.  Nevertheless, being human, it can get pretty confusing and rough at times...


Reading Thomas Merton’s reflections today reminded me that Divine strength is not usually given to us until we are aware of our own weaknesses and that too, knowing that the strength received is a purely a gift from God.


My own journey through Lent, the Holy Week and Easter has been especially meaningful this time because I have put myself in this most vulnerable situation; some deem it silly, stupid and ‘such a waste’ to ‘throw’ away what is perceived to be a well-paying job.  I choose to think of it as simply finding enough guts to finally empty myself before Him...awaiting for Him to fill me.


At times, I do find it a mystery of God’s love, to be able to gather the courage and faith to finally stand up for what is right, to preserve my own human dignity, rather than to be enslaved by the seduction of money and worldly corporate politicking…at the expense of others.  The relentless pursuit of this whole 'rat race' or 'career advancement' seem to have just evaporated and overcome by the hunger to have to better relationship with God, at this point in my life.


This Easter, I learnt that the Cross is not merely to know my own suffering – it is to know that I am saved by the suffering of Jesus Christ, to be able to experience that I am saved by Him.  To find true meaning to this short life's journey...towards something much greater at the end...in union with God and in communion with all the saints.

Throughout this past year, I am blessed to have been able to experience and truly appreciate the love and comfort of God, through the words, actions, support and love of my family especially, and friends.

It is only through Jesus that our lives are saved – He is truly the Alpha and the Omega…the beginning and the end.  Spiritually, “no man is ever saved by his own suffering”, adds Merton.


Through the contemplation and blogging of my own thoughts, the Via Dolorosa, the Lenten, Triduum and Easter reflections, I have grown and gained more insight into the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ; growing stronger in union with God.  Life can truly become more meaningful and its journey more worthwhile, if we know our God and come into a relationship with Him.


I now know more clearly that it is not by my own mere suffering that I earn God’s love.  God did not create suffering and Saints are not made saints by mere suffering alone.


We need to freely choose to make time to build on our own relationship with God, with ourselves, our families and our neighbors in order to be able to know and experience His love on this short journey through life.


Only then will we, as pilgrims, grow in the awareness that suffering, in the here and now, does not really matter…suffering, in fact, destroys what is not important to our relationship with God.  Alleluia!  Alleluia!  We carry the hope in us as we are Easter people...continually refined by the Lord...into His image.


This Easter season, I invite you to contemplate and reflect on…what is it that you love most in life?

As for me, myself and I...this journey back home continues with hope...simply and quietly...meeting more companions along the way...

Third Week of Lent...Quench The Thirst Within...

It has been a while since my last journal posting.  Technical challenges with my computer during this season of Lent. 

Perhaps during this period of silence, God wishes for me to simply contemplate on my own emptiness, insufficiency, loneliness, brokenness...to learn and un-learn my over-dependence on the ways of the world and instead, to simply place my total reliance and trust on Him, the source of all life.

As we enter the third week of Lent, we hear the Sunday reading of the simple, 'outcast' Samaritan woman, at the well, whom Jesus revealed the truth -  the Messiah, has come; the Source of life.  Stop what you are doing, pause, be quiet and choose to listen...drink of the living water.  Come!

This Lent, the living water from God continues to refresh and quench our barren life, our thirst - as we travel the desert of life.  Whether we are aware of it or not, God continues to search for us and shower His Blessings on our lives each day.

Very simply, we are empty and broken people on a journey, wounded and lonely in this world of fakeness, busy-ness, lies...  Perhaps, in this emptiness, we are afraid to ask God to fill us...


This Lent, be not afraid, continue to listen to God's invitation and allow Him to examine you, let the Truth of His Word penetrate you and irrigate your life, transforming you, turning you back to God.

Jesus, too, thirst for your love and compassion...He constantly awaits your return with open arms...welcoming the return of His prodigal sons and daughters.

As you continue your journey, midway through this holy season of Lent, be conscious of the deep longing within your heart, the quiet restlessness and aim to take small steps towards quenching this thirst with the water of Life.

"Insult has broken my heart, and I am weak; I looked for compassion, but there was none, for comforters, but found none.  Instead they put gall in my food; for my thirst they gave me vinegar."

(Psalm 69: 21-22, NAB)

 

The Forty Holy Days...

Less than a week to Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, extending over 40 days.  I share with you this short and simple reflection as we journey the final leg towards a season of holiness, preparation, repentance and renewal.

"Remember, man, that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return."

(Genesis 3:19, Douay-Rheims)

The priest will deliver this traditional English translation of the admonition to each and every one of us, whether young or old, male or female, rich or poor, all, sinners the same.  The priest will make the sign of the cross, of ashes on our forehead to remind us that none of us can escape death and final judgment.

"...the kingdom of God is at hand: repent, and believe the gospel."

(Mark 1:15, Douay-Rheims)

A Simple Reflection...

"A camel needs but a small amount of food.  It saves it until it comes to a stable, where it regurgitates it and chews it until it seeps into its flesh and bones.  A horse, on the other hand, needs a lot of food.  It eats constantly and immediately loses what it has eaten.  Therefore, let us not be like a horse, constantly reciting the Word of God yet without embodying it.  Let us follow the example of the camel, retaining every word of Holy Scripture we recite, until we have embodied it."

- Saint Anthony

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary.  To one without faith, no explanation is possible."

- St. Thomas Aquinas

God...Seem Distant...

In life, we experience so many demands and distractions. Many a time, it is difficult to find God; difficult to look for stillness where God is found.

There is always an urgency in everything - too "active", some people say, cramming more and more into our lives. Most of the electronic gadgets today help us to cram even more!

But then, what is the purpose of all these? Is our life more enriched?

The challenge is to remove the distractions. Find the stillness and the calm. Only then can we draw closer to the source of all life; draw closer to God.

The media tells us everyday that our civilization abounds in violence, sex crimes, pornography, corporate scandals, child abuse, abortion, self-interest and self-indulgence. There is a constant and gradual erosion of moral truths and values. Where is the love?

Amidst the hurly-burly of life, God seems infinitely distant and exceedingly remote. The secular main stream media and free internet blogs have, most of the time to gain popularity, pushed God completely out of our lives.

Is there then a christian way of life in the world?

At every moment of the day and night, somewhere in the world, in a monastery somewhere, there are contemplative communities constantly praying for God's mercy and forgiveness of sins of the rest of the world.

These contemplatives live their souls cradled in the hand of God - unceasingly contemplating, worshipping and praying - in silence and solitude.

Prayer is the root of christian life. We must live, above petty squabblings, with, in and for God in prayer, silence and solitude.

Two reflections from the ancient fathers for today:


"Sometimes perhaps on a still night, you will have gazed up at the inexpressible beauty of the stars and thought of the author of the universe. You will have wondered who it is sowed such flowers so prettily in the sky..."

St. Basil (329 - 379)


"God has given the universe a musical arrangement. He has placed the dissonent elements under the discipline of harmony that the whole world may be a symphony in his ears...He has orchestrated this pure concert of the universe."

St. Clement of Alexandria (150 - 215)