A New Awareness This Epiphany...

“Love not the world, nor the things which are in the world.  If any man love the world, the charity of the Father is not in him.” (1 John 2:15, Douay Rheims)

Christmas and New Year in Singapore this time round, brings with it much challenges...stalled MRT lines in dark tunnels, gallons of rainfall, less shoppers on Orchard Road, concrete roller coaster structures at Universal Studios, slower economics, higher jobless rate, a gloomy year ahead...

Many are aware that in Singapore these days, the current priorities in the lives of the majority still consists of the 5 Cs; Cash, Credit Card, Car, Condominium and Country Club Membership.  There is a minor group of a certain quarter, who believes that these 5 Cs should be redefined into good Career, living in Comfort surrounded by Children, be more Considerate and Charitable.  Those whom are more spiritual may even deem their 5 Cs to be, Compassion, Charity, Conscience, Contentment and Celebration.

Across the Causeway, in neighboring Malaysia, the 5 Cs (or even more) seems even worse and obvious from the daily media obsessive reporting...Corruption, Conspiracies, Cronyism, Controlled journalism, Court injustice, Changing history, Clowns in government...it goes on and on.  All seems doom and gloom for the good citizens of this once rich, peaceful and cosmopolitan country.

Whilst Singapore is still way ahead in the desperate pursuit of development to combat the dulling economy, it’s neighboring peninsular has not tire itself of what the general citizens deem as sex scandals, corruption, Christian and religious persecution, injustice, rigged elections, abuse of law, etc.  With the impending General Elections, the citizens must send the signal of a firm and clear "NO" to these and a "YES" to the power of the rakyat (people)!

Yes, the priorities we hold dear in our lives determine the quality of our life...our journey through life.  The priorities the leaders hold dear determines the future of a nation.  The wise-men of the Epiphany were rich, yet they are aware of their absolute poverty; they were wise but yet recognize more the infinite wisdom of God.

Even in families, we see extreme obsession, on the part of either spouse, with the empty pursuit of wealth, materialism, career, so much so....it costs the families their marriage, their solidarity for one another, their happiness.  Arguments however petty, within families generally originate from these aimless and blind pursuits.  At the end of the day...when we take our final breath...only then do we realize (hopefully) that all these simply does not really matter at all...our life...our journey has been totally wasted on such temporary pursuits!  The quiet night in the Bethlehem where we were born, continue to be drowned by the noise around us.

Often, we hear this saying...why worry about tomorrow...simply live in the present moment.  This seems to be easier said than done when the attitude of most people today is one that always wants to win...at any cost!  Any other priorities that are not society-driven would likely make one feel like at outcast.

Ah, the paradox of being a disciple of Jesus Christ...to be in the world, yet, not of this world.  To be poor, yet become rich.  To be empty, but at the same time, filled to the brim.  To become detached, yet to be fully attached.  To lose everything, yet to gain absolutely everything.  To recognize that we are one humanity...a single family built on the values of justice, equality and solidarity...a soul with meaning and direction...journeying back home to our one Source...our Creator...Our Father in Heaven...our eternal destiny.

St Augustine has shared with us that, “If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don't like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself.”

As I reflect deeply of this, I understand that it cannot mean that we should not be fond of the world...that we are not to give ourselves solely to the building of the world.  We have a primary obligation, as disciples, to bring the love of Jesus Christ into the world...love all things in an “ordered” way...to see the world through the eyes of Christ.  Disciples do not conform to the values of the world but rather, we help transform the world by radiating forth the light of Christ to all the darkness we encounter along life’s journey.  Disciples love the world through Him, with Him and in Him...our Lord Jesus Christ.

St Augustine also said that, “Unless you believe, you will not understand.”  This Saint goes on to say that, “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”  Even more profound in wisdom, St Augustine continues to enlighten us today through his writings to, “Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.”

As we enter the Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord this week, the climax of the season of Advent and Christmas, let us open our hearts to realize this awesome insight and become aware to comprehend the meaning of the coming of Jesus Christ...the Son of God into the world.

What meaning will you allow for this Epiphany to have for you this time?

 

Apple...and the Tree of Life...

“Life is this simple: we are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and the divine is shining through it all the time.  This is not just a nice story or a fable, it is true. ”

― Thomas Merton, O.C.S.O



Earlier this week, I was reminded of a sharing some years back by the CEO of Apple.  Well, cancer somehow finds a way to humble even the giants among us.

However, in his interactions with his people, fellow human beings, the late Steve Jobs was not the world's greatest manager.  In fact, this very God-gifted person, what the world perceived as, a “visionary” who revolutionized multiple industries with his cutting-edge products could have been, if not, one of the world's worst managers; his management style shrouded with darkness...instead of radiating light.

Where he could have reached out and touched many lives, he chose to destroy... constantly demanded excellence from people around him and was known for his blunt delivery of criticism.  God seems to have disappeared from his life.  Rather, his core obsession was with the change in people's lifestyle through his iPhones, iPads, Apple computers, iPods...everything else with the selfish “i”.

This very simple orphan, who once delivered the inspiring message at the Stanford University, seems to have forgotten how all the simple dots of his life...connected back to God...the ultimate tree of life...the ultimate architect...the ultimate provider.

At the end of the day, God will simply hold us all accountable...  Let us then, as simple pilgrims, always remember this throughout our journey through life...we are merely humble instruments of God...sending out tiny ripples to make this world a little better for all...so that others too, whoever they may be, will come to know the loving God...through us.

“...keep me, as the apple of thy eye.  Protect me under the shadow of thy wings.” (Psalm 16:8, Douay-Rheims)

God's Grace to Grow in Stewardship

“Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not serving to the eye, as pleasing men, but in simplicity of heart, fearing God.  Whatsoever you do, do it from the heart, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that you shall receive of the Lord the reward of inheritance.  Serve ye the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:22-24, Douay Rheims)

It has been quite sometime since my last piece of journal on this blog.  Many events have happened since then...on my journey.  I still feel sad when I recollect the sudden departure of my good companion and friend...only two weeks ago...but just seem like yesterday.  Sad or not, life for me must still go on...

Coincidently, I have been back working in the corporate world...the very week after my best friend’s funeral.  I still remember my last conversation with him, just the week before...he advised me to give it a shot...get back to employment...as there are still so many lives I am capable of reaching out to and touching.  My friend, I have taken your last words into heart...we are indeed God's gift to the world...our lives are meant to be shared...our light...to brighten where it is dark...

But then, my dear companion never stayed long enough to hear the good news...that I have successfully got the job...on the very day after he passed on.  In fact, the phone call came when I was at the wake at his residence near the coastal waters off the Straits of Malacca...

Sometimes, the happenings in life are such a paradox...emotions of sadness and joy all mixed up...one just does not know what to feel anymore.  What I know is that my journey from this point onwards will miss the cherished companionship of a very dear friend.  Nevertheless, I thank God for bringing him into my life and will always hold his words in my heart...guess this must have been similar of how the twelve disciples must have felt when Jesus suddenly left them at Golgotha...

Me getting a new job and losing a dear friend...at the same moment?  Perhaps the Lord has a hidden message for me...somewhere under the blanket of these events in life.  Perhaps Jesus wants me to bring His Light back into the world...perhaps there are lives I must still reach out and touch...  Perhaps, I must walk the rest of this journey without my good friend...perhaps, my dear friend is called onto another journey somewhere else...perhaps there is more learning for me...perhaps I require more refining...

Whatever it is, I remain the humble instrument of the Lord...  Once we have experienced God’s merciful grace and forgiveness in our lives...surely we are obligated to share and pass this on joyfully and willingly to many others who have yet to experience the same...

For me, two weeks have passed into the corporate world...the landscape of my journey is beginning to change again...yet my mission remains the same...to do my small part, in partnership with God, in making this world a little better; with my strength anchored on God alone.

My time management has gone a bit wacko since then as I re-orientate myself and settle into this new position.  What I have realized these past 2 weeks is that I must be even more disciplined, spiritually, as I pursue my new journey; as a disciple of Christ...amidst the “noise” and “seduction” of this crazy world.

Trying to be simple amidst the “complexities” and “complications” of the competitive entrepreneur world is never easy.  To achieve this spiritual equilibrium, I have fallen back to rely on the basic foundation of prayer and the rosary...coupled with much scriptural and spiritual reading.  This has helped, to a certain extent, to sustain me and maintain a calm “center”...not forgetting the Holy Eucharist which I am so privilege to receive at each Friday noon mass, given that my new place of employment is within walking distance to a cathedral.  Thank God for that!

Don’t get me wrong but I am indeed pleased to be back to work again...I know that my past sabbatical year has helped formed me somehow, to face the competitive business world with much more composure, confidence, spiritual maturity and priority.

Indeed God continues to work in mysterious ways...He has a unique plan for all of us...if we but be obedient to His ways.  Although we are sinners, He loves each one of us all the same.  So, here I am, Lord...is it I, Lord?...I will go, Lord, if you need me!

I just pray that my humble listening to Him, discerning...and obedience in journeying this route through the waves of life...will bring only more glory to His Holy Name.  I pray that He will continue to guide me in all my decisions and actions.  May He increase as I decrease...

“You have seduced me, Yahweh, and I have let myself be seduced...” (Jeremiah 20:7, NJB)

Ultimately, I know that I am “employed” by God and He remains my first “boss”.  As a Catholic Christian, I also know that my work on earth is a spiritual stewardship; not a secular necessity.  What I contribute, in any small way, at my workplace must serve His purposes with the utmost integrity and fit into His entire plan for Creation and the Universe.  I, a mere servant, partner with God through my “sacred” worldly responsibilities to bring life to this “dying” world and humanity.  By the grace and mercy of God, I now have another opportunity to grow in my stewardship at work...placing all my trust in God alone.  Alleluia!

“Otherwise, you might say in your heart, “It is my own power and the strength of my own hand that has got me this wealth.”  Remember then the Lord, your God, for he is the one who gives you the power to get wealth, by fulfilling, as he has now done, the covenant he swore to your ancestors.  But if you do forget the Lord, your God, and go after other gods, serving and bowing down to them, I bear witness to you this day that you will perish utterly.” (Deuteronomy 8:17-19, NAB)

Always Remember Who You Are...

  
“You formed my inmost being;

you knit me in my mother's womb.

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me;

wonderful are your works!

My very self you knew;

my bones were not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,

fashioned as in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes foresaw my actions;

in your book all are written down;

my days were shaped,

before one came to be.”

(Psalm 139:13-16, NAB)

Over the last couple of days, I was simply reflecting on a little book by a Dutch-born Catholic priest, Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen...an extremely very gifted writer – “Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.”

This is just a simple sharing of my quiet reflection...

Amidst all the rushing, working and doing, we tend to not have much time for our dear selves.  Just remember who you are...a very special person...deeply loved by God and all the people who are here on this journey with you...and the ones you meet along the way.

Not to be able to feel loved by those who gave us life will result in us dwelling in low self esteem that can easily lead to anger, impatience, hopelessness, depression and despair.

When the journey is rough and life is burdensome, always remember that you are loved with an everlasting love.  We belong to a loving God who will never leave us alone...but will remind us constantly that we are guided by His loving hands on every step of our journey through life.

At times when we are thrown about, up and down by the tiny waves on the surface of our existence, we become easy victims of our manipulative and seductive world.  For those who are trapped in the values and priorities of the world, we hear so much blaming and complaining in a spirit of passive resignation...feeling like victims of the world we cannot change...an inner restlessness that continually stirs up feelings and emotions of us being not-good-enough, evil, bad, worthless, rotten, doomed to illness and death, useless...the list goes on and on.

These negative voices are sometimes so loud and persistent that it is often easy to believe them...naturally, beneath all our human arrogance and ego!

St Augustine reminds us in our journey that, “my soul is restless until it rests in you, O God.”  When God no longer have (or never had) any influence over us and our lives...on our journey...on the waves of our lives...then all our vitality will eventually evaporate...we will become listless, frustrated, dull and bored even when we are busy with all our “doings”.

Our own human arrogance and ego often destroys us.  It prevents us from seeing, hearing, feeling and sensing...becoming “conscious” of how blessed we actually are.  Amidst all the “noise”, compulsiveness and “busi-ness” (read ‘busy’), we cannot hear the whisper...that soft gentle inner Voice that blesses our lives so that we can journey through life with a stable sense of well-being and true belonging.

This Voice comes to us in countless of ways...the very voice that is sounded by your parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, priest, spouse, children, blogs, books and the many strangers who cross your path...including the Sacred Scriptures...the Word of God.

This Voice can simply be heard in the quiet...by the ear of faith...the ear of the inner heart...an inner active attentiveness and consciousness of the Beloved God...the Spirit within us.

The world has changed, many people say...but the problem of modern living in this day and age is that we are simply too busy...perhaps looking for affirmation of “who we are” in the wrong places?

There is simply so much that still has to be done, so many tasks to finish, assignments to complete, deadlines to meet and jobs to work on that being simply present and quiet seem (or is perceived to be) useless and even a total waste of our time.

How then can be hear and listen to God if we do not “waste our time”?

First and foremost, we ourselves must acknowledge that we are indeed children of God...we are God’s chosen ones...we are loved and belong exclusively to God...we existed in God’s loving heart long before we were conceived and came to birth...long before our parents held us...our friends know us...we have been individually chosen from the very beginning of time! Each and every one of us have been chosen by God.

“...a great spiritual mystery: To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. It is very hard to conceive of this in a competitive world such as ours.” – Henri J M Nouwen

In knowing that we are indeed chosen and loved by God, Henri Nouwen further enlightens us that, “what seemed intolerable becomes a challenge. What seemed a reason for depression becomes a source of purification. What seemed punishment becomes a gentle pruning. What seemed rejection becomes a way to a deeper communion” which each of us yearns so much, deep within our being.

By the grace of God, only with this gift of awareness and consciousness...we stop clinging to life for our own selfish reasons and desires...we stop reacting aimlessly to the world around us.

We become attentive to the loving God who has chosen us and “planted” us on this journey...to make this world a little better.  Throughout this short journey back home, every time we reach out...every time we respond to the Voice...we know that our every little action of love and peace will ripple out into wider circles – just like a tiny pebble thrown into a calm still pond.

Only then, will our brief and simple journey through this world touch the lives of others with love...give life to people...our “death” will then have given others hope and new life...our “death” will ultimately set us free to arrive home to meet God.

“...O LORD, you have probed me,

you know me: you know when I sit and stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest you mark;

with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, you know it all.

Behind and before you encircle me

and rest your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is beyond me,

far too lofty for me to reach.

Where can I hide from your spirit?

From your presence, where can I flee?”

(Psalm 139:1-7, NAB)

Becoming a Door of Hope to Others

  
“At that time Jesus said in reply, “I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.”” (Matthew 11:25, NAB)

Slightly more than 13 months ago, I made a huge decision to un-trap myself from the corporate world.  I wanted to find more time...more space for myself, my family, God…to do stuff that gives deeper meaning to life and make this world a little better.  It was a brave step on my part and it took a lot of prayers, listening and discerning with the Lord for me to arrive at the decision…not to mention, a lot of support from my family.

Throughout my life, I have always held on to the belief in the value of each person, no matter what their abilities, “different”-abilities, culture, race or religion.  Under the one God of Love, we are all called to grow in love, wisdom and acceptance of others…growing together in solidarity…trying to live the message of Jesus Christ.

However, my life in the corporate world was often blurred by management “concepts”, technicalities or principles, influenced by supposedly, what most people would term as, management ‘gurus’ (fad of the season, more like it).

The common element of all these “flavors of the month” is seemingly to become more productive, effective and efficient…and “profitable”…at the expense of “others”…our neighbors.  The corporate world today often "crucify" Jesus over and over again, in the name of profits!

Worst of all, if one has an immediate superior who daily feeds on finding fault in others…creating unnecessary “pressure” and encouraging values which are inconsistent with our spiritual being.  Our life then, becomes so much more stressful!  Yes, the heartless corporate world has its ways of tempting, seducing and luring Christians in high positions to become un-christian in so many different ways.

I believe that if a job and the people you work with are unable to bring out the best in a person, then that job is not worth hanging on to.  Life is simply too short to be held to ransom by some corporate hypocrites!  How can one wake up each day to do something which is in direct conflict with the values preached by Jesus?  What then will become of the meaning and purpose of our journey through life??  When it comes to following Jesus, there is simply no compromise with the ways of the world.

The corporate world forces upon us to group people into various categories – talented and not-so-talented, specialists or managers, promotable or not promotable…entitled to bonus or vice versa…CEOs and the non-C-class ranks or simply plain employees with just an identification reference.  Who are we, mere mortals, to disrupt God’s equilibrium of His beautiful created human race?


These words of St Paul to the Corinthians ring true for me throughout my tenure in the corporate world.


“Consider your own calling, brothers.  Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God.” (1 Corinthians 1:26-28, NAB)

Back in employment then, it became quite challenging for me to balance the cries of the Spirit within, against the corrupt and emotionless “rat-race” environment of the corporate world.  On the one hand, the Church is teaching me to be attentive to the weak and the vulnerable, those in whom Jesus Christ rejoices because they see what has been hidden to the clever and capable. On the other hand, a whole load of corporate jargon and rules.  What a contradiction!

The noises of the corporate world distracted me so much so that it did not help me become a better human being, a better child of my parents, a better parent, a better spouse…most importantly, a better disciple of Jesus Christ.  Whilst I wished I was “empty” before my God, it was filled to the brim with assignments, projects, initiatives, business trips, deadlines, etc.  So often in the corporate world, I find that leadership and discipleship seems to collide.

Why imprison myself in such a cruel corporate environment?  This culture seems to bring out the bad or the worst in me.  By God’s grace, I came to be aware of how far I was drifting apart from God and, in the process, I have not been listening and responding to Jesus’ call to radical discipleship. Jesus constantly invites all of us (me) into a mysterious path of growth in love and compassion.

The Spirit of the Lord disturbed me so much that I finally found the courage to let go and surrender everything back to God and empty myself once more; try to get my life back in order.  Despite many objections from my superiors about me being a talent and the potentially having a “bright” future ahead, I voluntarily put an end to everything. I simply quit and took a sabbatical break. No work, no income…just a time for vacation with the Lord…  Looking back, I have absolutely no regrets!

During this past one year, my life, although emotionally and financially, challenging…taxing…lonely...many a times – the direction was clear…live simply, quietly, prayerfully and poorly as Christ did…live with the poor, my neighbors, in order to live with Jesus Christ…this took a lot of courage, believe me!

I have found much growth in my spiritual life…prayer life…becoming more aware and trusting of God’s presence in my life.  For me, it was such a fulfilling time…spending it with the Lord and my loved ones...also being able to share my humble thoughts in this simple blog.

Looking back, I see that the mad corporate world, created by mankind, likes to compete…always achieving something at the expense of something else…pleasing someone at the price of someone else…“opportunity” cost, the economists would term it to justify.  Clearly, the world just does not understand the message of simplicity, peace and harmony…the very heart of the Gospel message.

It will not surprise me if Jesus weeps over the state of our world today…weeping over individuals, corporations and countries where inequality, divisions, discrimination, exclusions, marginalization, profitability have become so dominant.

Jean Vanier, a Canadian Catholic philosopher and humanitarian, once shared that human beings have turned our world into a place of competition, rivalry, conflict and war between races, religions, social classes and countries.  How true!  On the flip side, there is simply a lack of sincerity and “heart” in executing Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) initiatives…all done because “management” wants it.

During my time in employment, much of what I stand for and hold dear…appeared to be very foolish because the Gospel message is truly a message of folly in the corporate world!

“We find it difficult to give life, to hold and carry people in their weakness.  We are often frightened of reality because reality can be painful and a source of disappointment.  We tend to escape into a world of illusions and to seek refuge in dreams.  We bury ourselves in ideas and theories or fill our days with distractions.” – Jean Vanier

God calls us today, as Christians, in the corporate world, to shine forth so that the environment where we are may be transformed into a door of hope for others…each one of us revealing the Word of God to touch someone else’s life in any small way.

“All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be.  What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race…  And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us” (John 1:4, 14, NAB)

No person should be made to feel too insignificant, to unimportant or unworthy.  In the Bible, we know that God calls everyone…God does not choose only the talented, the rich, the strong, the most influential, the most learned or just the CEO…but rather, the weak, the humble, the most needy, the simple, the quiet…people who recognize and acknowledge their own “poverty” – not just material poverty but their own inability to cope with life…having to depend on a God who loves and cares for them.

I have grown to learn now, in a very intense and experiential manner, that God’s ways are not my ways, God’s choices are not society’s choices…during my time in the corporate world, there have been many times when I have unnecessarily put others down, forcibly changed their course of life, refuse to admit my own weakness, my own poverty…preferring to hide behind my corporate rank…  People respect you purely because of the rank on your business card.  Beyond that, sad to say, no one genuinely cares enough to want to know.

Now I know even more clearly that we are all members of the one community…the one human race…because God has created and called each one of us.  We must not be ashamed or frightened to leave the familiar corporate world…to let go of what we used to know or held on to…to lose everything…to discover the restlessness, loneliness and poverty of our soul…it takes time…but we need to learn to put down roots, attachments, ranks…to give up control…and let God take control.

Throughout my sabbatical break, the Lord has shown and taught me (and is still showing me), in so many ways, how to live…so that my whole life, my whole being becomes a sign of the Good News.

I am humbled to know that when I welcome God’s call, something beautiful happens inside me…daily, there is a “letting go” of attitudes, prejudices, fears, security, the need to be in control, self-importance...to just be a child of God…free from all fears…placing all my trust on Him alone.  Because I took that first small simple step, the Lord has completely disturbed my established order of things and replaced it with a radically new order.


I share with you the following simple words...


“People often prefer to keep Jesus in the churches and places of worship, where they can go and see him from time to time, when they feel like it or when they feel the need.  But to have Jesus in their home – which is also the home of their hearts – that is harder to accept!  When we welcome Jesus into our “home”, he transforms us and he transforms our way of living.” – Jean Vanier


Depending on what the Lord has planned for me next…whether He wants me to remain as I am or He calls me back to the corporate world or something radically different…one thing remains certain…I will not walk the journey in the same “worldly” manner…I will take courage to always be God’s foolish but obedient instrument of peace…become a passionate sign of the Good News…becoming an open door of hope to others.


Come what may, I remain God’s humble imperfect servant, always at His disposal…Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done.

Where Am I Going?...

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude" (1915 - 1968)
Trappist monk and author


In our achievement-oriented society, it is especially difficult for one to devote time to reflecting on life's ultimate values.

Even when the satisfaction of achievement fails one and all one's striving seems useless, the consideration of a possible God behind it all is usually rejected.

In each human, there is a spark, however dim, of enduring goodness. This spark is the divine within us, and if one is ever to find God, he or she must recognize and respect this spark in others...irregardless of status or class.

Today particularly many feel that God is missing from our world...

Fear not, He is always there....