Always Remember Who You Are...

  
“You formed my inmost being;

you knit me in my mother's womb.

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me;

wonderful are your works!

My very self you knew;

my bones were not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,

fashioned as in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes foresaw my actions;

in your book all are written down;

my days were shaped,

before one came to be.”

(Psalm 139:13-16, NAB)

Over the last couple of days, I was simply reflecting on a little book by a Dutch-born Catholic priest, Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen...an extremely very gifted writer – “Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.”

This is just a simple sharing of my quiet reflection...

Amidst all the rushing, working and doing, we tend to not have much time for our dear selves.  Just remember who you are...a very special person...deeply loved by God and all the people who are here on this journey with you...and the ones you meet along the way.

Not to be able to feel loved by those who gave us life will result in us dwelling in low self esteem that can easily lead to anger, impatience, hopelessness, depression and despair.

When the journey is rough and life is burdensome, always remember that you are loved with an everlasting love.  We belong to a loving God who will never leave us alone...but will remind us constantly that we are guided by His loving hands on every step of our journey through life.

At times when we are thrown about, up and down by the tiny waves on the surface of our existence, we become easy victims of our manipulative and seductive world.  For those who are trapped in the values and priorities of the world, we hear so much blaming and complaining in a spirit of passive resignation...feeling like victims of the world we cannot change...an inner restlessness that continually stirs up feelings and emotions of us being not-good-enough, evil, bad, worthless, rotten, doomed to illness and death, useless...the list goes on and on.

These negative voices are sometimes so loud and persistent that it is often easy to believe them...naturally, beneath all our human arrogance and ego!

St Augustine reminds us in our journey that, “my soul is restless until it rests in you, O God.”  When God no longer have (or never had) any influence over us and our lives...on our journey...on the waves of our lives...then all our vitality will eventually evaporate...we will become listless, frustrated, dull and bored even when we are busy with all our “doings”.

Our own human arrogance and ego often destroys us.  It prevents us from seeing, hearing, feeling and sensing...becoming “conscious” of how blessed we actually are.  Amidst all the “noise”, compulsiveness and “busi-ness” (read ‘busy’), we cannot hear the whisper...that soft gentle inner Voice that blesses our lives so that we can journey through life with a stable sense of well-being and true belonging.

This Voice comes to us in countless of ways...the very voice that is sounded by your parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, priest, spouse, children, blogs, books and the many strangers who cross your path...including the Sacred Scriptures...the Word of God.

This Voice can simply be heard in the quiet...by the ear of faith...the ear of the inner heart...an inner active attentiveness and consciousness of the Beloved God...the Spirit within us.

The world has changed, many people say...but the problem of modern living in this day and age is that we are simply too busy...perhaps looking for affirmation of “who we are” in the wrong places?

There is simply so much that still has to be done, so many tasks to finish, assignments to complete, deadlines to meet and jobs to work on that being simply present and quiet seem (or is perceived to be) useless and even a total waste of our time.

How then can be hear and listen to God if we do not “waste our time”?

First and foremost, we ourselves must acknowledge that we are indeed children of God...we are God’s chosen ones...we are loved and belong exclusively to God...we existed in God’s loving heart long before we were conceived and came to birth...long before our parents held us...our friends know us...we have been individually chosen from the very beginning of time! Each and every one of us have been chosen by God.

“...a great spiritual mystery: To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. It is very hard to conceive of this in a competitive world such as ours.” – Henri J M Nouwen

In knowing that we are indeed chosen and loved by God, Henri Nouwen further enlightens us that, “what seemed intolerable becomes a challenge. What seemed a reason for depression becomes a source of purification. What seemed punishment becomes a gentle pruning. What seemed rejection becomes a way to a deeper communion” which each of us yearns so much, deep within our being.

By the grace of God, only with this gift of awareness and consciousness...we stop clinging to life for our own selfish reasons and desires...we stop reacting aimlessly to the world around us.

We become attentive to the loving God who has chosen us and “planted” us on this journey...to make this world a little better.  Throughout this short journey back home, every time we reach out...every time we respond to the Voice...we know that our every little action of love and peace will ripple out into wider circles – just like a tiny pebble thrown into a calm still pond.

Only then, will our brief and simple journey through this world touch the lives of others with love...give life to people...our “death” will then have given others hope and new life...our “death” will ultimately set us free to arrive home to meet God.

“...O LORD, you have probed me,

you know me: you know when I sit and stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest you mark;

with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, you know it all.

Behind and before you encircle me

and rest your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is beyond me,

far too lofty for me to reach.

Where can I hide from your spirit?

From your presence, where can I flee?”

(Psalm 139:1-7, NAB)

Becoming a Door of Hope to Others

  
“At that time Jesus said in reply, “I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.”” (Matthew 11:25, NAB)

Slightly more than 13 months ago, I made a huge decision to un-trap myself from the corporate world.  I wanted to find more time...more space for myself, my family, God…to do stuff that gives deeper meaning to life and make this world a little better.  It was a brave step on my part and it took a lot of prayers, listening and discerning with the Lord for me to arrive at the decision…not to mention, a lot of support from my family.

Throughout my life, I have always held on to the belief in the value of each person, no matter what their abilities, “different”-abilities, culture, race or religion.  Under the one God of Love, we are all called to grow in love, wisdom and acceptance of others…growing together in solidarity…trying to live the message of Jesus Christ.

However, my life in the corporate world was often blurred by management “concepts”, technicalities or principles, influenced by supposedly, what most people would term as, management ‘gurus’ (fad of the season, more like it).

The common element of all these “flavors of the month” is seemingly to become more productive, effective and efficient…and “profitable”…at the expense of “others”…our neighbors.  The corporate world today often "crucify" Jesus over and over again, in the name of profits!

Worst of all, if one has an immediate superior who daily feeds on finding fault in others…creating unnecessary “pressure” and encouraging values which are inconsistent with our spiritual being.  Our life then, becomes so much more stressful!  Yes, the heartless corporate world has its ways of tempting, seducing and luring Christians in high positions to become un-christian in so many different ways.

I believe that if a job and the people you work with are unable to bring out the best in a person, then that job is not worth hanging on to.  Life is simply too short to be held to ransom by some corporate hypocrites!  How can one wake up each day to do something which is in direct conflict with the values preached by Jesus?  What then will become of the meaning and purpose of our journey through life??  When it comes to following Jesus, there is simply no compromise with the ways of the world.

The corporate world forces upon us to group people into various categories – talented and not-so-talented, specialists or managers, promotable or not promotable…entitled to bonus or vice versa…CEOs and the non-C-class ranks or simply plain employees with just an identification reference.  Who are we, mere mortals, to disrupt God’s equilibrium of His beautiful created human race?


These words of St Paul to the Corinthians ring true for me throughout my tenure in the corporate world.


“Consider your own calling, brothers.  Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God.” (1 Corinthians 1:26-28, NAB)

Back in employment then, it became quite challenging for me to balance the cries of the Spirit within, against the corrupt and emotionless “rat-race” environment of the corporate world.  On the one hand, the Church is teaching me to be attentive to the weak and the vulnerable, those in whom Jesus Christ rejoices because they see what has been hidden to the clever and capable. On the other hand, a whole load of corporate jargon and rules.  What a contradiction!

The noises of the corporate world distracted me so much so that it did not help me become a better human being, a better child of my parents, a better parent, a better spouse…most importantly, a better disciple of Jesus Christ.  Whilst I wished I was “empty” before my God, it was filled to the brim with assignments, projects, initiatives, business trips, deadlines, etc.  So often in the corporate world, I find that leadership and discipleship seems to collide.

Why imprison myself in such a cruel corporate environment?  This culture seems to bring out the bad or the worst in me.  By God’s grace, I came to be aware of how far I was drifting apart from God and, in the process, I have not been listening and responding to Jesus’ call to radical discipleship. Jesus constantly invites all of us (me) into a mysterious path of growth in love and compassion.

The Spirit of the Lord disturbed me so much that I finally found the courage to let go and surrender everything back to God and empty myself once more; try to get my life back in order.  Despite many objections from my superiors about me being a talent and the potentially having a “bright” future ahead, I voluntarily put an end to everything. I simply quit and took a sabbatical break. No work, no income…just a time for vacation with the Lord…  Looking back, I have absolutely no regrets!

During this past one year, my life, although emotionally and financially, challenging…taxing…lonely...many a times – the direction was clear…live simply, quietly, prayerfully and poorly as Christ did…live with the poor, my neighbors, in order to live with Jesus Christ…this took a lot of courage, believe me!

I have found much growth in my spiritual life…prayer life…becoming more aware and trusting of God’s presence in my life.  For me, it was such a fulfilling time…spending it with the Lord and my loved ones...also being able to share my humble thoughts in this simple blog.

Looking back, I see that the mad corporate world, created by mankind, likes to compete…always achieving something at the expense of something else…pleasing someone at the price of someone else…“opportunity” cost, the economists would term it to justify.  Clearly, the world just does not understand the message of simplicity, peace and harmony…the very heart of the Gospel message.

It will not surprise me if Jesus weeps over the state of our world today…weeping over individuals, corporations and countries where inequality, divisions, discrimination, exclusions, marginalization, profitability have become so dominant.

Jean Vanier, a Canadian Catholic philosopher and humanitarian, once shared that human beings have turned our world into a place of competition, rivalry, conflict and war between races, religions, social classes and countries.  How true!  On the flip side, there is simply a lack of sincerity and “heart” in executing Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) initiatives…all done because “management” wants it.

During my time in employment, much of what I stand for and hold dear…appeared to be very foolish because the Gospel message is truly a message of folly in the corporate world!

“We find it difficult to give life, to hold and carry people in their weakness.  We are often frightened of reality because reality can be painful and a source of disappointment.  We tend to escape into a world of illusions and to seek refuge in dreams.  We bury ourselves in ideas and theories or fill our days with distractions.” – Jean Vanier

God calls us today, as Christians, in the corporate world, to shine forth so that the environment where we are may be transformed into a door of hope for others…each one of us revealing the Word of God to touch someone else’s life in any small way.

“All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be.  What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race…  And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us” (John 1:4, 14, NAB)

No person should be made to feel too insignificant, to unimportant or unworthy.  In the Bible, we know that God calls everyone…God does not choose only the talented, the rich, the strong, the most influential, the most learned or just the CEO…but rather, the weak, the humble, the most needy, the simple, the quiet…people who recognize and acknowledge their own “poverty” – not just material poverty but their own inability to cope with life…having to depend on a God who loves and cares for them.

I have grown to learn now, in a very intense and experiential manner, that God’s ways are not my ways, God’s choices are not society’s choices…during my time in the corporate world, there have been many times when I have unnecessarily put others down, forcibly changed their course of life, refuse to admit my own weakness, my own poverty…preferring to hide behind my corporate rank…  People respect you purely because of the rank on your business card.  Beyond that, sad to say, no one genuinely cares enough to want to know.

Now I know even more clearly that we are all members of the one community…the one human race…because God has created and called each one of us.  We must not be ashamed or frightened to leave the familiar corporate world…to let go of what we used to know or held on to…to lose everything…to discover the restlessness, loneliness and poverty of our soul…it takes time…but we need to learn to put down roots, attachments, ranks…to give up control…and let God take control.

Throughout my sabbatical break, the Lord has shown and taught me (and is still showing me), in so many ways, how to live…so that my whole life, my whole being becomes a sign of the Good News.

I am humbled to know that when I welcome God’s call, something beautiful happens inside me…daily, there is a “letting go” of attitudes, prejudices, fears, security, the need to be in control, self-importance...to just be a child of God…free from all fears…placing all my trust on Him alone.  Because I took that first small simple step, the Lord has completely disturbed my established order of things and replaced it with a radically new order.


I share with you the following simple words...


“People often prefer to keep Jesus in the churches and places of worship, where they can go and see him from time to time, when they feel like it or when they feel the need.  But to have Jesus in their home – which is also the home of their hearts – that is harder to accept!  When we welcome Jesus into our “home”, he transforms us and he transforms our way of living.” – Jean Vanier


Depending on what the Lord has planned for me next…whether He wants me to remain as I am or He calls me back to the corporate world or something radically different…one thing remains certain…I will not walk the journey in the same “worldly” manner…I will take courage to always be God’s foolish but obedient instrument of peace…become a passionate sign of the Good News…becoming an open door of hope to others.


Come what may, I remain God’s humble imperfect servant, always at His disposal…Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done.

Our Loneliness...only Jesus Can Satisfy...

 
"History is full of men who have claimed that they came from God, or that they were gods, or that they bore messages from God - Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius, Christ, Lao-tze, and thousands of others, right down to the person who founded a new religion this very day.  Each of them has a right to be heard and considered.  But as a yardstick external to and outside of whatever is to be measured is needed, so there must be some permanent tests available to all men, all civilizations, and all ages, by which they can decide whether any one of these claimants, or all of them, are justified in their claims.  These tests are of two kinds: reason and history.  Reason, because everyone has it, even those without faith; history, because everyone lives in it and should know something about it.

Reason dictates that if any one of these men actually came from God, the least thing that God could do to support His claim would be to pre-announce His coming.

Reason further assures us that if God did not do this, then there would be nothing to prevent any impostor from appearing in history and saying, "I come from God," or "An angel appeared to me in the desert and gave me this message."

(History have shown)...in whom but Christ have these Prophecies found their fulfillment?"

 - Fulton Sheen

 One of the least talked about sources of human suffering in the world today is loneliness.  In the chaotic and busy society of today, we find ourselves acutely aware of our own human loneliness.  In the hussle and buzzle of the new year, we quietly become aware of our loneliness within.  Why is it that many Christmas gatherings and New Year parties, even social get-togethers often leave us feeling empty and restless inside?

We are amidst people yet, we feel alone inside.  We talk to people yet, we are not trusting enough to open ourselves or let others into our lives.  We choose to keep a safe distance.  We work with people yet, there is always a sense of competition to outwit the other, claim victory.  We take home big paychecks, yet money cannot seem to buy us anything worthy enough to satisfy the restlessness within.  We make new year resolutions yet, the years come and go and we continue to ask ourselves, "How far advanced am I?  Who am I?"  We socialize at gatherings, make friends, but how many of these are sincere and faithful during the times when we are in need, when we are broke, when we need a shoulder to cry on, when life threatens to end abruptly.

 "When we have no project to finish, no friend to visit, no book to read, no television to watch, or no record to play, and when we are left all alone by ourselves we are brought so close to the revelation of our basic human aloneness and are so afraid of experiencing an all-pervasive sense of loneliness that we will do anything to get busy again and continue the game which makes us believe that everything is fine after all."
- Henri Nouwen

 I, too, often pose myself this question, why do I choose to blog?  More than anything, I like to read and drown myself in spiritual books.  I find that despite all the so-called progress in the world today, we have still not progress much in terms of enlightenment and spiritual wisdom.  Brilliant minds of the past, the early fathers, saints and mystics have shed much wisdom through their reflections and literary works.  These thoughts, perceived as "old fashion" have long been "opportunity costed" out in the name of progress...to the extent that the new generations forget to stop and ponder deeply..."Who am I?".

Naturally, the journey I have begun, continues regardless.  In the words of an early desert father, John of the Ladder back in the 7th century, after living for 40 years in solitary at Mount Sinai...

"If some are still dominated by their former bad habits and yet can teach (blog) by mere words, let them teach (blog)...  For perhaps, being put to shame by their own words, they will eventually begin to practice what they teach (blog)."

I know that I will journey to become a more "spiritually conscious" person if I continue to persevere, reflect, share and express my thoughts via this blog, simply giving a small voice to the quiet imperfect whispers of my heart and hopefully, this little "light" will reach out and touch a restless soul somewhere to offer a bit more strength for them to continue this journey a little while longer, the burden a little lighter, the path a little brighter.  More importantly, it also serves as a journal for myself as I walk this lonely path through life towards the heavenly home.

Loneliness and the awareness of the fragility of life is not something to be feared.  The secular world does not like to confront these thoughts, as evident by the constant stream of "activities", "tasks"and "technology devices".  Blogs and Facebooks only reveal our outer more popular physical selves most of the time...attracting more "friends", "followers" and "noisy internet traffic".

Our human condition constantly seek solace, solitude, affection, a sense of belonging, even escapade from the challenges of life...desperately piggy-bagging our lives on the influence of new-age gurus, motivational authors, self proclaimed pastors and speakers.  False expectations, temporal attraction, mental anguish, struggle for power syndrome in these flavours-of-the-month often frustrate us, confuse us.  Each time we seek something new, we hope it will be different.  We keep on experimenting on this journey through life.  Is there not something more genuine that can satisfy this hunger, give everlasting peace, solitude, compassion and hope to this life?

Saint Augustine reminds us, "Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee."

As the new year commences, we are reminded to empty our lives from the distractions of worldly material pursuits and fake relationships...to focus instead on seeking Him who gives healing, rest, peace and hope; turning loneliness into solitude of heart, even amidst the crowded city, busyness at work, self inflicted deadlines and active life.  Simply cultivating this quiet solitude of heart enables us to understand the world from the quiet center of our being, living attentively in communion with our God, the Creator.


"And you shall be my people: and I will be your God." (Jeremiah 30:22 - Douay-Rheims Bible)


This year, let us call out the Holy Name of Jesus Christ and invite Him into our lives to quieten our restlessness, bring hopeful meaning to our lives and truly satisfy our deep spiritual hunger. May He make us all a channel of His Peace...in this life...as we journey home to eternal life...

Bishop Fulton Sheen goes on to say, "There is no such thing as living without a cross.  We are free only to choose between crosses.  Will it be the Cross of (Jesus) Christ which redeems us from our sins, or will it be the double cross..." (of the secular world we live in?)

Respond...this new year...make the beautiful words in the Nicene Creed come alive...

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth
of all that is seen and unseen.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten,
not made,
one in Being with the Father.

Through Him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
He came down from heaven;
by the power of the Holy Spirit
He was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.

For our sake
He was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
He suffered died, and was buried.
On the third day
He rose in fulfillment of the Scriptures;
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son
He is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism
for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.
Amen.